Saturday, April 30, 2011

and i quote 8

"Mmmm...  Good sauce...  Adds some kick!" - An American guy I was sitting across from at the shared table in a warung (local restaurant) in Ubud, Bali.  He was dining with a friend and had just poured sauce from a red bottle in the middle of the table onto his meal.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the small label on the bottle facing in my direction had a picture of tomatoes on it, not chili peppers.

"Dear guests: To maintain the purpose of our restaurant, please refrain from transactions concerning CDs, massage oils, health drugs etc.  Thank you." - A sign on the napkin holder in another warung in Kuta, Bali (the party region).  People clearly must get distracted from their food at this place!

"We all have our challenges to overcome in life.  I was born a Catholic." - One of the international yoga instructors conducting a workshop at the Bali Spirit Festival, displaying a very non-yogi attitude during her session.  I was really surprised and happy she was not one of the instructors at my yoga teacher training.

"Can you settle a bet for us?  How do you pronounce your name?" - Jane, a newlywed friend-of-a-friend honeymooning in Bali, to me.  I'd introduced myself to her and her new husband Linus a few minutes earlier.  They had different perspectives on what my name was and wanted to find out whose listening skills were more accurate.  (Turned out it was Jane.).

"Can I use this?" - Putu, the Balinese healer I went to last year, to me during a treatment session this year.  He was referring to an inappropriate part of my body.  Needless to say, he is no longer my healer.

"Poor Canadian girl...  So innocent!" - Vasudev, the 40-year-old Norwegian man formerly known as Bjorn in my yoga teacher training, to me.  A group of us from the class were at dinner and the conversation had turned to mind-altering substances.  I think he thought my lack of experience stemmed from a lack of opportunity.  I explained to him that it was by choice.

"That's how they stay so white!" - Beret, another student in the class, making a joke during the environmental toxins lecture.  I had just shared that, ten years ago, I learned that polar bears have traces of Scotchguard (the carpet/upholstery stain prevention chemical) in their bodies. 

"You have a beautiful voice!  You should use it more." - Etel, my Swedish friend in yoga teacher training, to me, giving me some feedback.  We were doing practice teaching and each had to do 10 minutes of a 90-minute vinyasa flow class.  I had just closed our last session by sharing the manifesto of encouragement during savasana.  People were moved to tears.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

and i quote 7

"Excuse me but there is a big, fat insect on your back!" - Dani, a tourmate, to a random stranger at another table while at dinner at a beachside restaurant in Nha Trang. The poor guy had a cockroach on his back!

"If I go to happy hour, I'll be in the happy house!" - My roommate Jes, after hearing a woman cooking and selling seafood on the beach in Nha Trang announce that it was happy hour (which everyone seemed to do everywhere, regardless of what was being sold or the time of day). She'd gotten sick from some fish at a restaurant the night before (the same place as cockroach guy) and spent most of the night in the bathroom, which tour guides in Vietnam refer to affectionately as the "happy house".

"Happiness to everyone!" - The writing on a rubbish bin in the hotel bathroom in Halong Bay. There was a picture on there too. I forget exactly what was on there but seem to recall some sort of outdoor scene with a tree and an animal. In retrospect I'm thinking maybe it was some kind of environmentalist message that just forgot the "reduce waste" part of it?

"Instruction for usage: instant food."- The English translation on the back of a bag of potato chips in Vietnam... In case anyone who bought a bag couldn't figure it out.

"Same same." - Every local person I spoke to in Vietnam who wanted to indicate that two things were the same. Not a single person said it once... They sell t-shirts with this printed. I wonder if you can buy just one ;)

"I forget that you're older." - Athina, another tourmate, who is 18. We were clearly talking about one of those things where life experience makes a big difference :)

"The Best in Thailand" - The print on the toilet in the hotel room in Lak Xao, Laos. No thoughts about how to explain this one...

"Toronto... Toronto raptors!" - Erry, the customs agent I got when I landed in Denpasar, showing off his knowledge about my hometown.

"Aiili Kuutan" - For the first time ever, I was greeted by someone waiting for me at the airport with my name on a sign when I got to Bali! (An airport transfer was included when I signed up for yoga teacher training.) And no, the typo did not detract from my experience :)